I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Come on in and take your pants off
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