thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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