Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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