the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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