I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
