He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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