Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
