Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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