hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
