if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
as a side note pls kill me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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