Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
