you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
