1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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