People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
