I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
