i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
