i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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