I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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