I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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