I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
