I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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