Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Are we still banned from the library?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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