Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
