every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
