I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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