So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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