we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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