I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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