only you would photoshop your dick
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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