just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
