so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
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He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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