If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
