Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize