Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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