Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

Fav 10 5535 1096
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

Fav 16 1631 6417
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.

Fav 16 4525 2036
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.

Fav 26 7415 1554
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

Fav 5 2296 1253
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

Fav 5 1172 1576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow

Fav 5 1922 768
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.

Fav 2 524 363
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way

Fav 2 195 80
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT