I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
