Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil

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  (916): You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil http://tfl.nu/tid3
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (561)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

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  (210): Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl. http://tfl.nu/ha6v
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (1770)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.

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  (405): You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show. http://tfl.nu/4wfw
  Replies (4) Good night (2461) Bad night (898)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?

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  (570): is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs? http://tfl.nu/dpsw
  Replies (21) Good night (4385) Bad night (904)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

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  (647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s
  Replies (17) Good night (5706) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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  (409): We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield. http://tfl.nu/bpsu
  Replies (45) Good night (11464) Bad night (2677)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.

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  (386): Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go. http://tfl.nu/vo4f
  Replies (11) Good night (865) Bad night (3294)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

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  (610): At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises http://tfl.nu/9m7h
  Replies (7) Good night (2296) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.

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  (908): She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears. http://tfl.nu/al07
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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  (410): Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way! http://tfl.nu/jf3p
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka

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  (570): Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka http://tfl.nu/ycv8
  Replies (5) Good night (653) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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  (807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  i think my cat just said my name.

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  (386): i think my cat just said my name. http://tfl.nu/zcy1
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?

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  (+44): So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2jti
  Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (121)

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