I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.