what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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