have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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