Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
