why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
