i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
