That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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