So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
