cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
