My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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