i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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