Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
