There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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