you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is the high leading the old right now
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
