I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
whose parrot is this?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.