I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies