So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
