you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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