Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
