Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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