Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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