I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
