is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
