Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
