my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
