do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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