butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
