I need help removing her.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
