Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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