Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
